HMRC Gets the Chop: Hairdresser Slices Through VAT Assessment Shocker

Hello, you long-suffering taxpayers. Premium rate music still on endless loop while you wait for someone in Newcastle to tell you they can’t find your file? Spare a thought for one plucky hairdresser who’s just given HMRC the shortest-back-and-sides of its miserable life.

In a decision that should be framed above every salon mirror in the land, the First-tier Tribunal has booted HMRC’s £40k-plus VAT assessment straight into the bin. Why? Because our beloved Revenue, in its infinite wisdom, had already issued a binding closure notice on an income tax enquiry… then turned round and tried to raise a revised VAT assessment on the very same turnover figures. You couldn’t make it up. Actually, they did.

The law is crystal clear (even when HMRC pretends it’s written in ancient Sumerian): once you issue a closure notice bringing an income tax enquiry to an end, you can’t then reopen the same turnover numbers for VAT unless you jump through very specific hoops. Hoops that, surprise surprise, HMRC forgot even existed. The Tribunal basically told them: “You closed it, you own it, now sod off.”

Result? VAT assessment cancelled in full. Interest and penalties wiped. Hairdresser walks away looking sharper than a fresh fade.

This isn’t just a win for one scissor-wielding hero; it’s a massive middle finger to HMRC’s favourite game: “Let’s assess everything twice and argue about it for five years.” When will these clowns learn that “closure” actually means closed?

Tax does have to be taxing.
Unfortunately, HMRC seem determined to make it downright bloody impossible.

Amazon “Treat Yourself After Beating The Taxman” Suggestions

• Wahl Cordless Super Taper – because nothing says “I just rinsed HMRC” like a proper sharp clipper
• Andis Master Clipper – the Rolls-Royce of fade machines
• BarberCape Professional Waterproof Cape – keep the clippings off while you count your refunded VAT
• The Salon Business Bible – because now you’ve got spare cash to grow the empire
• “F*ck You Money” jar – start filling it with the money HMRC just tried to nick

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HMRC To Bin Letters

 

In a bid to slash print and postage costs by £50m and drag HMRC communications into the 21st century, letters will no longer be sent out automatically to taxpayers from next spring. Email alerts will be sent to them, notifying them of new documents in their personal tax accounts or the HMRC app instead. 

As part of HMRC’s ambitious digital by default programme, which envisages 90% of HMRC interactions with taxpayers being online or digital only by 2029-30 tax year, the Budget papers confirmed a major shift to digital by default had been signed off by the government, which is starting sooner than expected.

This means that the days of posted brown letters from HMRC are very much numbered with only the ‘digitally excluded’ or those who actively opt out of digital still able to receive old school posted letters, starting in spring 2026.

In one sense this might be an improvement, given that snail mail comms with HMRC seems to take a year or so. However, those who are not digitally savvy may well face problems with this new high tech vision of HMRC's. 

In June I warned of the bureaucratic nightmare that HMRC's rush to digital will unleash. 

HMRC’s MTD is a self-inflicted wound on the UK’s entrepreneurial spirit, and taxpayers are the ones left bleeding.

Various guides to Making Tax Digital can be found here. 

HMRC Is Shite (www.hmrcisshite.com), also available via the domain www.hmrconline.com, is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Budget Live

Battered Britain's Brutal Budget B*stard Bingo Broadcast - Live Reaction https://t.co/ZSZ365qsEY

— Moving Home with Charlie (@moving_charlie) November 26, 2025

HMRC Is Shite (www.hmrcisshite.com), also available via the domain www.hmrconline.com, is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

OBR Has Leaked The Budget

 

The OBR has broken **the entire Budget**. It's extraordinary. Completely unprecedented. Hyperbole doesn't do it justice

Reeves will unveil £26billion in tax rises, ultimately leaving her with £22billion worth of fiscal headroom

* The tax burden will hit a record 28 per cent as…

— Steven Swinford (@Steven_Swinford) November 26, 2025

Here it is in full link 

 

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Good Luck Everyone!

 

HMRC Is Shite (www.hmrcisshite.com), also available via the domain www.hmrconline.com, is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

HMRC Office Attendance Plummets to Lowest in a Year – Civil Servants Discover the Duvet is Mightier Than the Desk

 

Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear.

Fresh figures sneaked out by the ever-transparent HM Revenue & Customs show that office attendance across their sprawling empire has collapsed to the lowest level in twelve months. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, while you’re being dragged back to your workplaces like Victorian chimney sweeps, HMRC’s finest are apparently treating the concept of “presenteeism” with the contempt it richly deserves.

According to the latest internal data, average attendance across their 170+ sites has dipped to a magnificent 28%. That’s lower than the chance of getting a sensible answer when you ring the VAT helpline on a wet Tuesday afternoon.

Some regional offices are reportedly running at 12% on a good day. At that rate they might as well turn the buildings into storage units for all those unused self-assessment forms, P45s, and the complete box-set of every HMRC IT disaster since 2004.

Naturally, the mandarins at 100 Parliament Street are spinning this faster than a politician caught with both hands in the expenses tin. “Flexible working”, they coo. “Empowering our people”, they trill. Translation: “Please don’t notice the empty offices we’re still paying business rates on while we threaten private-sector workers with the sack if they don’t return.”

Let’s remind ourselves who these work-from-home warriors actually are:

• The same people who fine YOU £100 for being three days late with a tax return
• The same people who still haven’t fixed the Child Benefit shambles eighteen months later
• The same people whose idea of customer service is a phone system that plays Vivaldi for 45 minutes before cutting you off

Yet they can’t manage to drag themselves to a desk more than once a fortnight.

Brilliant.

If you’re one of the unlucky sods who actually has to go into an office, console yourself with a proper ergonomic chair (unlike the £19.99 plastic torture devices HMRC buys in bulk):
→ Best office chair for people who actually show up to work

Or maybe invest in a decent webcam so you can attend all those pointless Teams meetings from the comfort of your own bed – clearly the HMRC-approved way:
→ Webcam good enough for civil servants who never leave the house

And if the stress of dealing with HMRC ever gets too much, treat yourself to the finest single malt known to man – because you’ve bloody earned it:
→ Whisky to drink while crying over your latest HMRC penalty notice

Meanwhile, the handful of dutiful souls who DO turn up find the office milk has evolved into a new life form and the meeting rooms smell like a wet Labrador.

Truly the heroes we don’t deserve.

So there we have it: HMRC – the department that demands you account for every last penny – can’t even account for 72% of its own staff on any given day.

If this were a private company the shareholders would be reaching for the pitchforks. But this is the public sector, where failure is always rewarded with a bigger budget and a glowing write-up in The Guardian.

Pass the biscuits. And the whisky. It’s going to be a very long decade.

Tax does have to be taxing.


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