HMRC Is Shite

HMRC Is Shite
Dedicated to the taxpayers of Britain, and the employees of Her Majesty's Revenue and Customs (HMRC), who have to endure the monumental shambles that is HMRC.

Thursday, 21 March 2019

A Poem For World Poetry Day


There is a phone box in Parliament Street,
Where once a lady showed more than her feet,
She made herself bare,
Whilst out on a dare,
But she was filled with dread,
When rumours were spread,
Though her boss was stout,
He lost his clout,
Amidst much trepidation and fear,
Lover boy was thrown out on his ear.

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32 comments:

  1. The one of the gimp suit at the Suites Hotel is a cracker too.

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    1. This one we have to hear. Tell more please. Surely it cant be worse than Dooley exposing her smashed up pork pie in the phone box outside 100 parliament street?

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    2. There's also their infamous lockup.

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  2. Do tell more!

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  3. Some of the mobile picture dares Dooley, Bradley and Dooley were exchanging on HMRC systems (these were uncovered by investigators and in any case Dooley used to boast about them) were pretty disgusting. On on particularly windy day that captured a picture of an Asian lady with her Burqua blowing up exposing her underwear. They could have sacked all 3 in a week over that and it is just so wrong on so many social, moral, cultural and legal levels.

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  4. Hope they have disinfected that fucking phone box. What a slovenly scutter Dooley is.

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    1. You would need a flamethrower to disinfect it. Tarts use phone boxes to ply their trade. Very apt for 'Scrubbers R US'. Maybe they were setting up a Time to Pay for the trollops they arranged.

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  5. So Dooley got her rat out in a phone box?!? Just been sick a bit in my mouth.....

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    1. The phone box directly outside 100 Parliament Street. No shit. IG have the evidence. Jesus. If her rat is equivalent to her facial hair then there must have been one fuck of a 'Vikings Beard' going on there. Mark Nelthorp You have truly specialist tastes...

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    2. Having read this I have two observations.
      1. All this is true and common knowledge.
      2. I have just cried with laughter. I do believe Dooley was always very 1970's down there.

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  6. Can someone please notify the Liverpool Echo about this?

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    1. More like can someone notify a good gardener with a big pair of hedge trimmers by the sound of it?

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  7. Didn't know this woman (thank god) when I worked in the corrupt HMRC for 20 years but she sounds like a most appalling piece of dirt...I regret wasting the best years of life working with vile ugly, immoral scumbags(disclaimer: not all staff were like this) but it took me getting screwed over by the dishonest cunts to realise what a corrupt misfit organisation I had been working for...now successfully self employed it still makes me sick having to deal with this filth as the tax authority.

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  8. Thank you for making my night everyone. The last 12 months have been so tough! A believe having a sense of humour keeps you going. I would like to see an independant investigation into this case but not sure how to get it. IoPC have apparently been made aware and have let a cover up happen.

    Ken - have you got any jobs going?!

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  9. Given my previous experiences on this blog I'll put my tin hat on here but as an interested reader I have to ask the following questions:
    1) does anyone on here actually know for sure that these photos exist. If so, how?
    2) has anyone on here actually seen the photos. If so how and when?
    Sorry but just trying to establish whether fact or just internet slagging off.

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    1. Has anyone got any copies? I would like six. No, make it half a dozen.

      I'll put them on the mantlepiece. It will keep the kids away from the fire.

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    2. It'll scar the poor little mites for life! It'd take 30 years to scrub an image of Dooleys' growler from your mind.

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  10. I was told about the photos. I was told about the phone box and burqua incidents. He always said they were Dooley dares but made out he got people to volunteer for them never said it was her and Bradley actually in them.

    It rings too true with what I heard to be a slagging off.

    IG must have them?


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    1. Thanks for replying in a polite and reasoned manner.

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  11. My pleasure Kevin. You can put your tin hat away. Unless you still work for the bastards then keep it on! I will be.

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    1. Hi Kevin. IG uncovered them when the extracted the message history from the gateway server for Mark Nellthorps' work BlackBerry. The content sent and received from which has an indefinite retention policy on the server. IG have these messages.

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    2. And I will not confirm I have seen them as this would really narrow the field down for the HMRC snoops. But put it this way. The comment about Dooleys' "Rat" above is totally unfair.... It is more like a vandalised bus seat.

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    3. Thanks @ 07:18. Nice to have a grown-up conversation on here.

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    4. No probs, but if You are current HMRC I would not identify yourself on this site. Some vindictive people there.

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    5. It's fine. I retired in 2014. Mind you, I wasn't scared of them even when I worked there.

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  12. I can confirm what the post says above too Kevin. The BlackBerrys run through Vodafone corporate accounts. Hence every single message ever sent through one or received is cached. It was just a case of IG pulling his entire history from Vodafone. There was a load of muck in there, not just what is mentioned hete.

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  13. I can also confirm what is stated above..... Lesleys' growler is utterly horrific. Smashed up pork pie isn't the half of it.

    Signed

    Mr Dooley.

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  14. This thread is outrageous. Lesley Dooley had a lovely 'axe wound'. I should know I tasted it often enough. I admit the moustache wasnt great though.

    Mark Nellthorp (MBA, RAPE).

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  15. Ken,
    I believe the 'opposition' have been posting on your threads wrt to the alleged sexual behaviour of HMRC managers.
    True or false, these allegations, for that is what they are, detract from the reality of many of the actions of HMRC managers.
    If true, then present the evidence or direct to where it can be found or STFU and give it a rest.
    I can never entertain eating a pork pie or drink a take home pint again let alone tussle with a rodent in a phone kiosk and perish the thought that should an enraged viking appear I would be mortified.
    Phone boxes in Parliament Street must be dangerous places and should carry a government health warning.
    ;]

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    1. BY opposition are you referring to current employees of HMRC affected by this abhorrent behaviour?

      These allegations are true. HMRC are trying to sweep these allegations under the carpet. The evidence will come out once employment Tribunals come to fruition but that will take time.
      I agree that most managers do not conduct themselves in such a manner but some senior managers allowed this behaviour to continue and people's lives have been ruined.
      By the viking reference I assume you refer to Nellthorp's Facebook picture and knew him or of him so you yourself will know this to be true and that the perpetrators have been sacked.

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    2. Get with the programme chaps. The Vikings Beard reference is referring to Lesley Dooleys twat which is somewhaat verdant in its hair quotient thus resembling a Nordic warriors facial hair.

      Thanks as always for the support.

      Mark N.

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    3. When does Noggin The Nog enter into all this, or is that yet another peccadillo?
      LOL!

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