HMRC's Sick Note Bonanza: Over Half a Million Days Off While You Wait an Hour on Hold

Hello you poor sods still trying to get through to HMRC without developing a stress-related condition of your own. Just when you thought the helpline hell, refund delays, and phantom penalty notices couldn't get any worse, along comes the latest Civil Service sickness absence data dump – quietly released on 16 December 2025, right before everyone buggers off for Christmas.

And guess what? The taxman’s own troops are leading the charge in the great British sickie stakes.

Fresh FOI figures show HMRC staff racked up a staggering 551,064 sick days between August 2024 and July 2025. That's over half a million working days lost – equivalent to every single one of their 66,000-odd employees taking more than eight days off sick each. Down slightly from the year before, mind, but still a whopping great hole in the workforce that's meant to be collecting your taxes and answering your calls.

While you're sitting on hold listening to that godawful panpipe version of Greensleeves for the umpteenth time, wondering why nobody picks up, spare a thought for the absent armies at HMRC. Phones ringing off the hook in empty offices, queries piling up like unpaid VAT returns, refunds taking two years because there's nobody there to process them. Coincidence? Pull the other one.

This isn't just a bad cold going round – it's a chronic case of "can't be arsed" compounded by generous paid sick leave policies that make the private sector look like Victorian workhouses. Nearly half of long-term absences across the Civil Service are now down to mental health – fair enough in many cases, but when it translates to deserted desks and degraded service for the rest of us, something stinks worse than an overdue self-assessment.

And remember, these are the same people who'll hammer you with penalties for filing a day late, while they swan off on full pay for weeks on end. You try telling HMRC you've got "stress" from dealing with their shambles – see how much sympathy that gets you.

No wonder customer service is in the toilet. No wonder small businesses get chased for imaginary billions. No wonder the backlog is biblical. When the workforce treats sick leave like extra holiday, the taxpayers foot the bill – in longer waits, higher errors, and more incompetence all round.

Tax does have to be taxing.
But thanks to HMRC's absentee champions, it's become a full-time job just trying to speak to someone who isn't "off sick" today.

Amazon "Coping With HMRC Helpline Hell" Suggestions
(affiliate links – because you'll need these while waiting for an adviser who might actually turn up)

• Premium Noise-Cancelling Headphones – drown out the hold music before you lose the will to live
• Stress Ball Set – squeeze HMRC's face (imaginary, of course)
• Giant Hourglass Timer – time your next one-hour wait accurately
• "Do Not Disturb – Dealing With HMRC" Door Sign – for when you're finally on the call
• Strong Coffee. Very strong.

 

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