HMRC Is Shite

HMRC Is Shite
Dedicated to the taxpayers of Britain, and the employees of Her Majesty's Revenue and Customs (HMRC), who have to endure the monumental shambles that is HMRC.

Friday, 2 August 2019

HMRC Is "Whitehall's Unruliest Department" - Javid Lays Down The Law

Sajid Javid has ordered HMRC to make no-deal Brexit planning its "absolute top priority".

Treasury sources said the letter from Mr Javid was an instruction to "Whitehall's unruliest department" to prepare for no deal.

In the letter to Thompson, Sajid Javid said:
"HMRC must make no deal preparation their absolute top priority as the UK prepares to exit the European Union on 31st October 2019, with or without a deal."
He said HMRC must deliver "critical internal systems and staffing" to function on October 31, including the 5,000-plus additional staff required to support and handle the increase in businesses making customs declarations.

Mr Javid also said HMRC should work across Whitehall to set up an "ambitious" central helpline to support firms with concerns about Brexit.

He said customs officials must work with counterparts from the Treasury, Home Office, Department for Environment, Food and Rural Affairs and Border Force to deliver the "necessary changes to customs, tax and welfare arrangements in order to ensure a smooth exit and transition".

In his instructions to Sir Jon, Mr Javid said he expected to receive "weekly delivery-focused updates from HMRC to ensure progress remains on track" in the run-up to October 31."

An excellent kick arse approach!

Pretty fucking appalling that the Treasury regard HMRC as being the unruliest department in Whitehall! 

Tax does have to be taxing.

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  1. Less than 3 months in which to recruit and train 5000 staff. Assuming there are enough people to train them all.
    Assuming that there is office accommodation, computer systems etc in place.
    What could possibly go wrong.
    Of course, back in the day this type of planning would have started the day after the referendum, but that was when government departments were run by career civil servants who knew what they were doing, not professional managers parachuted in from banking, think tanks, consultancies, the local widget factory and God knows where else.

    1. Freight examination not as easy as you might think, unless of course you do the old favourite tailboard examination, but that only impacts containerised and Ro-Ro freight.
      Of course, country of origin, description of goods, weight, number, anti-dumping, import/export prohibitions, valuation, phytosanitary, empty box scenario, people, animals, revenue goods, gems, stolen goods the list is endless.
      No doubt there is an algorithum available to replace the 'revenue nose' but I very much doubt it has yet to be discovered.
      Why not employ G4S or some such other mob?
      While you are contemplating your options, better consider where most of the work will be, any regional hubs close to ports of entry.
      Must be doing a whole lot of good for the motivation of the remaining front line staff - if any?
      Answers on the proverbial postage stamp please.
      Good luck with your hub meetings and problem solving...

    2. There is enough brexit fuckwits in QWH East Kilbride all self promoted to SO level, just so they can hold a phone to their ear all day and make themselves look good, bloody meetings about a meeting.. while the rest of us at lower grades is fixing all the shit they cause with there suggestions. Fucking promote the right ppl

    3. Before the advent of HMRC there were enough fuckwits to go around HMC&E and the IR.
      Now there is a surplus and they are becoming like rats in a sack.
      If Boris lasts we could see a step-change eprhaps with the imposition of direct ministerial rule and oversight?

  2. If Thunderbirds Cannabis Javid knew the truth on just how unruly it is. He could read this blog if he wanted to be clued up.

    A bit pointless asking the Thompson for a weekly update, as he is going in a few weeks. Happy Jim his opposite number might be a better option if he's staying in the department

    Why don't they phone up the thousands of people they got shut of thanks to 'Treeza'..

    Recruit, train 5000 people and have them knowing what they are doing in 80 days. Best of luck with that. 23K a year for an O grade with Zero Experience. Just give them a SWI and hope for the best. Then dump them in a portacabin as all the offices have been shut.

    Hello Mr Drug Dealer, do you have any of Bolivia's finest in your suitcase? No? Away you go then. I have targets to meet.

    1. The searching of suitcases, etc, will be done by Border Farce not HMRC. Apparently BF have effectively given up on the 'war against drugs' as politicians and the press are more interested in immigration.
      HMRC staff will be involved in the processing, vetting and post-import verification of Customs entries and the collection of duties and deposits.
      Tedious but important work which can also require a high level of expertise. Expertise which of course has now been lost by the department.
      But don't worry, the stats will look brilliant.

    2. Well, there will be plenty of overtime..

      It needs the expertise. Which they have just got shut of. Let's see who they can shunt the blame onto when it goes up the wall.

    3. And this..

    4. I've just checked his biography on Wiki. Thunderbirds Super Villain was a former Managing Director at Deutsche Bank.

      The revolving door...

  3. Unruly? It's worse than that. HMRC is rife with bullying, discrimination and law-breaking. And if anyone dares take them to task, they cover it all up and have no fear of perverting the course of justice. We need prosecutions of all HMRC staff who break the law, to restore public confidence in this out of control, loutish organisation. The departure of Thompson provides an opportunity to appoint a CEO with integrity...

  4. Thompson,keen to show his digital credentials,was the first out of the blocks to state that no physical border was required to facilitate checks between the North & South of Ireland.

    It is no coincidence that he is escaping before the Brexit shit hits the fan!

    1. He said we needed the 5000 at some PAC he was hauled in front of. Yes, quite fortunate that he is going to make a dogs dinner of another government department in the near future.

      The traitors and Prime Minister Frank N Furter really sold us down the river. No doubt under the direction of Merkel (you will never guess who her old man is - google it).

      Again, digital is this universal utopia. The cure to all ills. HMRC are just beginning to move all their stuff onto the cloud. At the same time a No Deal is looking favorite. I don't think Jacob Rees Mogg (the only tory who knows what he is doing) can pull this rabbit out a hat.

      A rudderless ship, unruly shithole, office closures, no staff. The Loan Charge trauma hasn't gone anywhere either.

      Pass the Cigars and Champagne.

  5. A mole wearing sunglasses could have foreseen this, about 3 yrs ago the clues started to appear, what price your POKA-YOKE, KAIZEN BLITZ, MUDA, might even be time for a lot of YOKOTENKAI.
    Excom & Co. you deserve every lump of effluent that sprays off the fan. You were warned and chose to ignore the voices of experience and common sense, and if any politician believes that decades of experience, knowledge and instinct dealing with freight controls can be rebuilt overnight - well good luck with that Pilgrims!
    The tax base is at huge risk what with post import/export verification and the requirement to facilitate trade means that 'WorldWideCrimPLC' is rubbing its hands with glee.
    Given the HMRC track record with IT, contracts and forward planning you would be better off getting the 'flying momkeys' back on the T&S,O/T and car hire gravy train.
    I kid you not, retired colleagues are already raising a glass to the forthcoming clusterfuck.
    Perhaps there should be a seperate department to specialise in frontier and inland customs controls and protecting the revenue?
    Someone could get a gong for setting the whole thing up, in fact, didn't there used to be a department with centuries of experience doing just that?
    IIP - don't get us started, it caused the tennants to spill!

  6. They've just paid us all off in the name of centralisation. You do of course need to be sat in Croydon Manchester Leeds etc as phones only work in these places don't they?

  7. "Unruly" does not even start to cover it.

    HMRC is a non Ministerial arm of government and that is where the problem starts. No senior politician is ( nor indeed wants to be) directly responsible for day to day operational conduct.

    Add a mindset of secrecy, obfuscation and adding ever more complexity and increadingly seeking to operate without proper oversight and the outcome is inevitable when the ExCo is staffed with careerist opportunists.

    There is no doubt that digital functionality is required but as a tool, not an end in itself.

    There is a fantasy not confined to HMRC that AI coupled with blockchain will enable massive additional revenues and vast savings in staff costs.

    It won't. As many commercial outfits have discovered merely shifts the costs into something ever more costly to create and maintain

  8. It takes about two years from inception to delivery to get an IT system online, assuming of course that there is a clear picture of what it is supposed to do at the outset, and nothing changes in between.

    Since nobody has yet told HMRC (or anyone else) what the details of Brexit are supposed to be, the chances of getting even an existing system tweaked and tested to meet non existent requirements in time for 1 Nov are nil.

    Good luck with all that then.

  9. What was wrong with Customs '88?
    Bring back T-forms especially the moneyspinner T-5!
    Trader compliance, 100% reliable as long as they are IiP and ISO certified.
    Why do people smuggle or evade the revenue or claim for false exports, is there some sort of incentive about all this.
    Perless, paperless! We must have paperless.
    How much did you spend on the following in the past 10 yrs:-
    Shredding machines especially the industrial types
    Contract shredding
    and show it on a graph while you are at it
    Where has all the evangelical zeal with which staff are beaten with Lean/Paceshitter got you?
    Greedy, incompetent, bullying, cowardly, deceitful non-customer focussed MUPPETS!
    Shame on you, utter disgrace and representative of so much that ails society.

  10. Oh the irony... Another fine mess that 'The Hood' has walked into.

    Perhaps the headline should read:-

    "Arselicking SCS Gong Chaser approves Gong for establishment arselicker"

    1. How odd-Ive been paying my tax for 45 years, never missing a single month, have never participated in any avoidance scheme (no matter how "legal" it was), and I'm sure that the charitable donations I have made in all those years equates to a higher % of my wage than that of Cowells. But why would I expect to get a gong for paying ALL my dues and have a moral compass too.
      As for the comment at 11.15, Lidl do not sell shit. Have you tried Fortnums Pate de Fous Gras? Dreadful.

  11. Thanks for nothing you elitist, expense fiddling shitbags.

    I hope that subsidised booze and grub you all stuff your faces with in the House of Commons is top drawer. Nothing but the best for you troughing bastards, none of your Lidl shite.

    When recruiting for the biblical 5000, remember to include pay minima and pay maxima in the advert. While your at it, make the AO maximum five million quid a year. The fresh recruits are never going to achieve it if they worked in the department until the Sun goes supernova and Antarctica has camels.

    1. We,the lower ranked HMRC staff are getting well and truly shafted in here...we will soon be getting any pay "rises" courtesy of the National Minimum Wage legislation....EXCOM and the Tory Government are despicable cunts.

    2. All Governments on the UK have been fronted by Cunts, unless you think Blair and Brown had the interests of the electorate at the forefront of their decisions. As with all politicians, it's a game of me, me, me, and fuck everyone else

    3. They're Traitors. The punishment should fit the crime.

  12. Every picture tells a story

    HMRC senior management hold their staff in contempt: disposable resources and the sooner we can dispense with them in favour of AI the better.

    It doesn't moan about being mistreated.

    I left HMRC some years ago. Recently been getting messages on LinkedIn from Recruiters asking if I would be interested in exciting career opportunities with HMRC.

    Hmmmmm tough choice. Would only have to take a 60% salary reduction and relocate to the arse end of nowhere.

    1. Run by morons for the benefit of others, feck all to do with protecting the revenue (as opposed to revenue protected), customer service or just doing the basics and collecting tax, efficiently and effectively.
      Might as well totally privatise, can't be that much left worth keeping in the public sector NOW as the staff and other customers are treated with equal disdain.

  13. Another weekend of media stories criticising HMRC. This time, it's the lack of coherent communication from the Clown Show

    Hauliers are not too pleased with the 'incoherent communication' concerning a No Deal Brexit. They asked simple questions that they wanted the shitshow to provide a few simple answers to. Unlucky. Just park up on the M25 and bring a bucket if you want a piss. A few Pot Noodles and a packet of wet wipes could be a good idea while you think on.

    Perhaps we are being too harsh. The country had to suffer Prime Minister Frank N Furter for 3 years who did nothing. HMRC must have plans for No Deal and an agreed deal (involving 39 Billion of our money). So, maybe they don't know themselves.

    Hauliers aren't the only group wanting answers. PCS have asked for HMRC to throw them a bone about staffing, roles. That sort of thing.. Again, incoherent vague non-answers are the only game in town.

    HMRC has form in this area. I remember Margaret Hodge criticising Dave Hartnett whilst attending a PAC. I think the term she used is 'gobbledegook'.

    75 green bottles, standing on a wall.. 10 weeks until showtime

  14. No way more prepared for Brexit than we were 3 years , i was told we have to do in 3 months what we would struggle to implement in 2 years as far as preparing for Brexit, its one almighty clusterfuck, i honestly see another extension coming because the country will be back in the dark ages if we leave in 80 days.

    1. Boris isn't bothered about another extension. Any disasters after we leave will be blamed on the EU and '5th columnist' remainers. This will allow him and his cronies to whip up the public into a perpetual state of outrage and accept his far-right agenda.

  15. HMRC are absolute bastards

  16. You are right.

    For many years HMRC has been a divide and rule organisation.

    Those that aspire to become management have had some poor role models and will have learnt that whilst the rewards have diminished - there are no shortages of punishing measures to keep the troops on their toes!

    An awful place that continually rewards bad behaviours by way of cheap promotions to people that seem to get a kick out of being bastards!

    It gets worse each year & there is no hope for it at all now.