HMRC Is Shite

HMRC Is Shite
Dedicated to the taxpayers of Britain, and the employees of Her Majesty's Revenue and Customs (HMRC), who have to endure the monumental shambles that is HMRC.

Thursday, 23 June 2011

Events Dear Boy, Events!

Events Dear Boy!
The BBC reports that a leaked HMRC document ("People and Offices Plan") indicates that only one (Cardiff) of eight Welsh HMRC sites is guaranteed to remain open until 2020.

PCS are to meet HMRC to query the perceived threat to the long term jobs of 1,200 staff at the other Welsh offices (eg Swansea).

HMRC said there were no new office closure announcements.

To be honest even if the document categorically stated that all jobs in Wales were guaranteed, that "guarantee" would be meaningless. Governments and organisations (no matter how honest/evil they are) can no more see into the future, and control events, than Canute could turn the tide back.

We are all at the mercy of "events", no matter how clever and farsighted we think we are.

Tax does have to be taxing.

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  1. This was part of the announcement last week. It showed all the staffing projections and when they would be announcing the other office closures. It covers the whole of the UK and confirms the 16 big city sites that will be kept. The rest are wait and see.

  2. At least King Canute knew he couldn't hold back the tide, unlike the muppets who think they can see into the future.

  3. It is perfectly possible to see into the future although highly unlikely that the muppets are aware of the procedure. Google Future Life Progression for more info. Many of my patients are already accelerating their future.

  4. Dont forget that Pacesetter will solve this (and all) problems !

  5. There was a plan for only 9 super tax offices for the whole UK.

    I never understood why 9 as the whole scheme would never work.

    On another I blog someone asked why the UKs regional fire service control stations were being reduced to 9.

    The answer opened my eyes.

    The scum of the EU intend to balkanise this country this country into 9 EU regions each with its own "capital" and a "minister" sitting in that "capital".

    To break up the UK.

    Do you remember a few years ago when that fat bastard Prescott blew up a lot of wind trying to get the north-east to vote for a Regional Assembly? He was told to stuff it by a 70% of the voters.

    The scum of the EU doesn't give up that easily of course.

    How many of your local councils are in danger of being merged into large "unitary" authorities? To save money of course. And when they have all their unitaries then they merge 3 or 4 and there is your region back on the menu again.

    That is why they discussed a bat-shit idea for 9 giant tax offices (if you think the serve is garbage now wait for the super office. After all, those giant schools you send your kids to these days are so much nicer and safer and better than those old fashioned little schools kids used to attend).

    Yes folks, a few more years and the 16 super offices will become 9 one for each region of the thousand year Reich occupying our once free island.

    And HMRC was in the vanguard of traitors.

  6. 9 is the maximum you count to using your fingers if you have a thumb shoved up your arse most of the time.

  7. Hey 16:07, thumb in your bum and brain in neutral again eh?!

    Now if you are even half clever and into numerology and basic google research (credit where credit is due) you may be aware of the following:-
    EU and the number 9 - Ludwig Beethovens 9th symphony is the Melody of EU anthem
    In Japan, the number 9 is considered unlucky
    Pythagoreans (real clever sods with numbers these) considered the number 9 unlucky as it was one short of 10
    9 is the number of Uranus (yer anus)
    The 9th month is September, there are 9 letters in September
    WebMD states that 9th out of 10 in the top benefits of sex is that it improves the pelvic floor muscles, so stop being a cnut!

  8. @19:16 did you use both hands to carry out that research?

  9. Nah, just the digit I require to count to 21 CNUT!
    But then you can only count to 20!
    LOLOL :)

  10. 19:55 cannot be a CNUT because CNUT's is useful.
    19:55 must be at least a SCS or above!

  11. Hey 21:32 leave off the CNUT yeh!
    It's not his fault he is depriving some village of its idiot, in fact I hear the only reason for following him is out of idle curiosity!

  12. Many years ago, the then Chancellor of the Exchequer one Anthony Barber rose to introduce to the House - VAT, described as a simple tax.
    WTF has happened to Revenue Collection and Protection in the UK since then?
    HMRC appears to have inherited the worst of both worlds and regurgitated it with a topping of pacesetter as HMRCISHITE.
    Forget the CNUT's of this world, they are merely distracting you from the real world, Ken, keep your site going, it is beginning to reap mini dividends and is going the right way, there are some good contributors here, despite the CNUT's of this world!

  13. I think the CNUT is a management toadie.
    His "footprint" has become far too obvious to some of the posters here by the look of it.
    This blogger has appeared in more than one disguise and by the look of it is pretty short on the grey matter and interpersonal skills, therefore the earlier poster who alluded to an HO or above is on the right track.
    I would be interested to hear what the CNUT thinks about his 30 seconds of fame?
    But then maybe not.
    Whatever his views it won't alter a thing.

  14. @23 June 2011 22:21

    HMRC staff contribute to this site for many different reasons.

    Unfortunately even those who hate the way things are going at the moment under Strathie and the Condems are still going to find common ground when it comes to other unnecessary attacks on this site against the majority of staff who are apparently all jobsworths.

  15. The Truth!

    HMTC is too big, managed by incompetant megalomaniacs bereft of morals who lack any accountability and possess a stalinesque zeal for the unsuitability of pacesetter and who have a total inability to complete an IT contract that suits the end user rather than the vendor, it is populated by sychophants, criminals (yes, it learnt that a few years ago) doesn't care 2 hoots for its customers, corporate or public, unless they are thr big players and is totally out of control.
    Apart from that, its a really nice place to work I am told!

  16. HMTC = Her Majesty's Taxation Consultants...

  17. 25 June 2011 07:39

    HTMC = Her Majesty's Typo Correctors...

    25 June 2011 07:38

    Yes and in any big organisation there are going to be a wide range of opinions from different staff.

    Anyway, even those who work and beleive HMRCiShite do not throw the baby out with the bathwater. Some times this site still managers to criticise things HMRC staff have done right - simply because they didn't like the outcome.

  18. Remind me when the "oscars" are/were?
    Perhaps you should have self-assessed for them, PDE not tax that is.
    The US Navy trialled self-assessment for reports years ago, their pilots came out absolute tops, surprise surprise, they all declared themselves top performers.
    Didn't stop them fucking things up and crashing on landing or into the sea or each other, causing civilian of friendly forces "collateral damage" either, but at least they were "top performers".

  19. Nice to be called a criminal just for working for HMRC.

    This site is no longer for HMRC staff, its just to abuse us and the system and if you dont mind I take way too much of that shit on the phones every day.

    **Ken you need to change the subtitle of this forum. HMRC staff are no longer welcome.**

  20. Pause, take a breath, take heed....
    Just because you work for HMRC does not make you a criminal.
    However, a criminal is one who has been found guilty of a crime, and not so long ago HMRC had to take a long hard look inwards and find out just how many people were either working in the evidential chain with undeclared criminal convictions or who were working in the evidential chain and whilst not convicted criminals were not capable of being considered witnesses of truth - fact!
    Luckily the vast majority of HMRC employees do not fall into either category, not sure about the management though.
    Offence to the innocent was not intended.

  21. The bubble will burst on yet another alleged criminal offence by a leading political figure soon. There is no need to single anyone out as a stone cast over the wall into the yard at Westminster is more likely to strike an offender or alleged offender than an innocent politician (if indeed there is such a beast).
    If this is the standard for the political masters of the civil service then it is hardly surprising that leaders e.g. of HMRC follow suit.
    It is not so much a reflection of society more an indication of the contempt for the rest of us that those in power have and an example of the view if you can get away with it, do it.
    Anything to do with the administration and collection of tax needs to be fair, equitable and morally acceptable and those charged with managing the system should be squeaky clean with no connectivity to big neocon, libcon, fiscal orother commercial entities - the last decade or so has shown the folly of "imports".
    However, the reality of the UK these days is that the rest of the world views it as a tax haven with offshore accounts...

  22. 30th June is approaching and this could give a good indication as to on the direction of worker/management relations in the public sector for what may be decades.
    If, as is suspected vast numbers of the public sector, union members or otherwise take action then the writing is on the wall, the government is likely to bring in tighter legislation to lessen the effectiveness of joined up union aciton, this is likely to have a volatile effect running into the rolling programme of joint action planned for the autumn.
    It looks as though increasing numbers of dissaffected non-union members are likely to support the action of the strikers and this might just get the compalcent non-striking members up off their rears and out on strike. Are you a bleating sheep or a free spirit - you decide.
    Imagine what would be happening now without union representation and action, yes it would be like the private sector and unless you are a top banker or neocon you are already fully aware of what that is like - union or not we will all carry a financial legacy for many years.
    HMRC is crap, but it may well get a lot worse if the public sector loses the next battle, for that is what it is.
    many more jobs will go to the private sector, but if you believe that sector is based in the UK you are so wrong.
    In addition if the private sector fully gets hold of the public sector pensions funds (such as they are) look out because the funds will be hit by the fund managers taking their 30% in advance.
    Yep, going to work in Dubai begins to look a reasonable alternative, trouble is I still like my own country so I will stay and fight thank you.
    Hey, Hey LBJ, how many kids did you kill today?
    Maggie, Maggie, Maggie, out, out, out!
    What do you mean the UK now has a coalition government, what happened to democracy?
    Ahh...LOL, I love Sunday's! ;)
    p.s Coldplay were brilliant.

  23. Just heard Tony Blair, "basically a public service person" LOL, saying he is working as a pro-Bono person these days

    So, in supporting an ageing Irish popstar does that mean he has become a tax exile then and is a hypocrite, no, he always was a hypocite so what about the tax then Tony?

    What next, Gordon Brown ghost writing a book on inter-personal skills and how to manage bullying in the public sector?

    11:26 has hit the nail on the head on a number of issues but are the bleating sheep symptomatic of something else? I don't know that's why I asked the question.

    WTF was LBJ, sounds like a citrus drink FFS.

  24. Events, events that all fecking HMRCISHITE is these days.
    Whether its Excom types trying to sell it to the masses before the next staff survey or the much maligned Oscars ceremony ( any takers yet, apart from the sychophants and evangelists that is )?
    Awards believed to include head up managers arse contest, just how far can you go? Pacesetter, unbelievable event of the year.
    Hairnets award for the most "freebies" eaten in a given week. The Straithie cup, awarded for the worst performwnce and excuse in front of a committee, etched forever in the battered and tarnished silver is the quote "I'm not a tax expert!"
    And finally the Gorden Brown trophy for the worst decision ever made in relation to tax collection.
    Bring on the clowns!

  25. Part of the answer lays with Pacesetter, its wasting millions, is pissing off loads of staff who will never believe in it and there is the beginning of a certain stench with it.
    It will become akin to IIP eventually, the old Idiots In Power award, some say the only reason the plaque is not used as an ashtry is because it was plastic.
    But the smell is similar to dirty money?