HMRC Is Shite

HMRC Is Shite
Dedicated to the taxpayers of Britain, and the employees of Her Majesty's Revenue and Customs (HMRC), who have to endure the monumental shambles that is HMRC.

Friday, 26 July 2013

East Kilbride Fairy Liquid Ban

I would welcome comments from HMRC staff from East Kilbride wrt the ban on Fairy Liquid in the office there.

Tax does have to be taxing.

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  1. WTF!!!

    Read the link and unfarking believable, not!

    This makes the Cap Park Stasi, Kitchen Monitors and Whiteboard surveillance teams at Llanishen look like hammerchewers.

    What about toilet paper, lead in non-approved pencils, untaxed cars in official car parks (no, DVLA contractors already allowed to trawl car parks, ignore that one) hold the rail when using the stairs, only official plants (yep) but you can use potentially lethal commercial shredders without training (?).

    Why not put fairy liquid in the brillo bottles? Would that be a sacking offence?
    Why are the staff cleaning in the kitchens, wtf are Mapely paid to do? Or will staff be expected to clean the bogs next? Wonder where that fits on a PDP or staff assessment, how do you exceed average performance when excrement is involved, oh yeah, join Excom. ROFL.

    Its not just East Kilbride folks, or is it?


    1. Oh dear, oh dear, obviously folk working in tax offices are very delicate...

      I wonder if I will be banned from carrying huge bags of mail to our second office each day (a good 10 mins walk away) because we don't have a franking machine at our office?....

      ...ahh, of course, it is better for my health as the franking maching may contain non-approved chemicals in the ink it uses to frank the post..

      Good thing I'm quite a strong female 50 year old tho' innit, despite my small frame....





  3. LMFAO - you could not make this up - what next?

    The control of substances hazardous to health regulations 2002 requires employers to control exposure to potentially hazardous substances - what about the noxious fumes emanating from EXCOM's orifices.

    This is the product of too many brown tongues.

  4. We were told last year that no chemicals could be used by the cleaners in the toilets they could only use water this seems to have changed now but air fresheners are still banned.

  5. Before the gathering Littlejohns here have a collective seizure, I think that *this* is the key line in the other piece:

    "Those running the office there want only the UK Government department’s official supplier (Brillo) to be used in the washing up process."

    I don't think that this is remotely to do with H&S - that's just being used as a convenient excuse, safe in the knowledge that people like to have their well-programmed prejudices confirmed.

    Instead, it's far more to do with protecting those companies who have had juicy supply contracts handed out to them (with HMRC's customary competence in that area, of course). It's the same reason why - compared to the old days, when we were 'inefficient' according to the genii of management consultancy, and used, when we ran out of pencils, to get someone to pop out to WH Smith and get reimbursed from petty cash - we now have to have everything ordered via one cossetted supplier on a long contract, who charge us five times more for delivering inferior items and take their time doing it.

  6. Brillo w/up liquid datasheet
    Fairy Liquid w/up liquid datasheet

    Now, have HMRC considered the risks to their staff in using either liquid?

    25155-30-0 246-680-4
    68439-46-3 polymer
    64-17-5 200-578-6
    68081-94-4 -
    Alkyl aryl sulphonate
    Alkyl alcohol ethoxylate
    Ethanol (OES)
    Ether sulphate

    This product contains a material with an OES/MEL published in HSE document EH40

    This product does not contain any prescribed substance under the Environmental Protection Act (Prescribed Processes and Substances)
    Regulations 1991 and is not classified as special waste under the Control of Substances (Special Waste) Regulations 1996, but is classified
    as controlled waste under the Environmental Protection Act 1990. For small quantities, dilute with water to at least 5% w/v (50 g/litre) and
    pour down a wastewater drain (foul sewer). Rinse out containers at least twice and recycle if facilities exist or dispose of as commercial
    waste. For larger quantities dispose of safely as commercial waste.
    European waste catalogue 20 01 29 Detergents containing dangerous substances


    An aqueous blend of anionic surfactant, non-ionic surfactants, ethanol and dye.

    Product is not classed as hazardous under Chemicals (Hazard Information and Packaging) Regulations 1994.

    DISPOSABLE METHODS: Dispose of according to local regulations




  7. Can someone tell me what on earth HMRC are doing, have the management totally lost their marbles?

    This has brought them into disrepute, makes them a laughing stock and has very little to do with staff engagement or protecting and collecting the Revenue. Is this typical of the type of management in HMRC, if so sack the lot and privatise immediately.

    This is Kafkaesque gone wrong in a big way and should worry every taxpayer, benefit claimant and politician in the land.

  8. I wouldn't worry too much about bleach not being used in the toilets, from my experience more than 1/2 the employees don't bother to wash their hands after a crap or a pee anyway.
    A polite request to management requesting they put up standard "now wash your hands please" signs was met with indifference, despite a high number of associated outbreaks of various illnesses!
    Absolute useless individuals given their little bit of power and afraid of their own shadows, as for decision making - no chance.
    Mind you, woe betide you for abusing (putting a pleasant daily message on) a whiteboard that was unused or driving the wrong way round the car park!

  9. I think whats also happened is since they have closed numerous other buildings, staff have been packed into buildings maybe designed to accommodate far fewer people. So illnesses have went through the roof.
    The management have probably had some arse licks do a research on the issue and they spent weeks and identified various chemicals in cleaning products. A helpless AA was probably coerced into setting up a spreadsheet on Fairy liquid, brillo ingredients etc and then collate the results and email them off to the previously mentioned arse lick so they could forward it to the manager in the hope of getting a great appraisal at the end of the year.

  10. There are staff crammed into rooms that were originally designed for main frame computers. The aircon hasn't been serviced properly for years (heaven knows why Legionairre Disease hasn't broken out) these offices are freezing in winter, one I was in had the staff sitting at their desks with coats, scarves and gloves on, in the summer they suffocate. Mapely won't do a thing unless they are forced to e.g. fireproof the dupposed fireproof doors or offices will be closed down by the Fire Brigade at second time of warning.
    Fairy Liquid problems, nil by comparison but evidence of the rotten core.
    Building "managers" who couldn't manage a trip to the shops, lunatics running he asylum. Get rid of Homer, start at the top and cleanse through putting in place a totally modern system where accountability means just that.
    It amazes me that the staff put up with the farce that is their employer, but then PCS are not much better, regionally or at HQ.

  11. PCS protects the staff and supports Lean principles at the same time, by agreement with "the management". Some might say hypocrisy, others might say common sense, even more would say sell out as conditions have continued to worsen so whatever the deal was, it ain't working for the benefit of the staff!
    As for looking after the staff, PCS will maintain that their priority is to retain jobs. There we are then!
    Last time I looked, that was another PCS policy that ain't working.
    Of course, PCS Group Officers would be continuously looking after members interests in HMRC before their own, wouldn't they?
    How much were those new PCS offices again?

  12. I love how even with something as trivial as a washing up liquid dispute you get some twat shouting the privatisation card. HMRC may not be great, but that would render it utterly incompetent.

  13. HMRC is about as useless as the proverbial chocolate teapot. It does not take 20:20 vision to see how bad this organisation has become from top to bottom. From a management system obsessed by spreadsheets and uniform conformity and led by rejects from elsewhere withing the public sector to a workforce of meek lemmings lacking backbone or cohesive voice. The slide to its current and somewhat hopeless position has been going on since the merger (takeover) of Customs by the IR.
    Solution or alternative has to be full privatisation, no compromise, no half measure, no hiving off the profitable, privatise the lot in one bundle of activity.
    Considered opinion is that not only would it be no worse than what is there now, it would be likely (given safeguards and incentives) to be a vast improvement.
    You would not have stupid distractions from the core function and "customer service" would be a measureable and enforceable part of the system. Independant oversight linked to legislation and robust, fit for purpose, I.T. would be at the core of the privatised tax system. Freed from the stifling public sector the UK would have a tax system that finally does what it says on the box.
    Now, where's my cocoa?

  14. Was looking for a Lee Iacocca quote but came across this instead.

    If you have ever played bullshit bingo in HMRC you may appreciate this. Anyway, select your Excom or other "management" names and see what scores you come up with!

    1. Actually, when I think of ExCom, "8 C's" is what springs immediately to mind...

    2. Hah! When I think of Excom there is only one C that springs to mind and that would be the plural!
      But as you are not obviously referring to anatomy I defer to the 8 C's of which I am aware and would refer to Excom;
      Cathartic (medical)
      Charismatic (yes, I know, but you need to laugh)
      ref. to;

  15. They get washing up liquid? Most offices get nothing - cold water and a hot water dispenser for drinks (no kettles)and that is all. Don't believe all the hype they have probably had an instance of someone having an allergy to fairy liquid so instead of being sued they are not allowing it to be used in that building. I have known offices ban rubber/latex balloons for birthday celebrations for the same reason. It is not h&s gone mad it is HMRC being seen as looking after the welfare of the staff. Now can we move away from DM style sensationalism?

  16. 11:33 - reality check

    This was f-all to do with allergy and everything to do with stupid, overzealous "managent". Read the linked articles to find out what caused this hiatus, it includes H&S fantasy land of HMRC and a very clear and pointed response from the real HSE!
    Offices in Cardiff can no longer put up Xmas decorations, unsure about any non-Christian festivals e.g. Pagan, Wiccan, Shaman. The reason being the decorations interfere with the microwaves? fire detection system. Obviously the banks of VDU's, hard drives, mobile phones, neon lights and the like have no effect on the system?
    As for allegies, more staff are allergic to crap management than balloons! Better off banning these managers rather than balloons eh?
    And if you read the links on the relevant risks you will see which one is more likely to cause a reaction.
    Du'on't forget the stickers warning boiling water can cause risk of scalding or that swallowing chemicals can be hazardous to your health.
    Anyway, do have a nice day, careful not to trip on the stairs, hold the handrail, keep fire doors shut and don't stick your head in the microwave, remember someone may want to use it after you.
    Suggestions on a whiteboard please (not forgetting the hazard marking tape for the whiteboard legs, and don't forget if there is a potential CNBR risk in the postroom, evacuate staff by the furthest route, going past the non-airtight postroom doors instead of the 2 or 3 closer and safer alternative exits - you know it all makes sense...

  17. H&S in the workplace remains a high priority within HMRC and is taken very seriously with rigorous procedures and systems designed to ensure compliance with legislation thus ensuring a healthy and safe workplace.
    From a prectical perspective we couldn't care less what washing up liquid is being used and would query where any staff find the time to monitor these obstuctions to progress without reference to a 6 Sigma/Godzilla/Toyota/Fukishima/Origamai approach noted on whiteboard and another series of columns added to the "Master Spreadsheet". Any members of staff, of whatever grade who are deficient in this area will be sent for reajdustment at the central "Facilitation Facility". 12th Dan Kaizen Blitz D'oh Joe Masters will lead recalcitrent staff in renditions of the company song daily in the carpark. The carpark now has plenty of space as there are less staff than carpark places following economies of scale of staff and subsequent P45 emplacement opportunities.
    HMRC is a caring employer fully conversant with all aspects of employment legislation and the Disability Discrimination Act. See job vacancies being advertised on the UKBA lorries as space becomes available.

  18. Much ado about nothing?

    No, this is a reflection of an organisation obsessed by stupidity, be it attempting to apply manufacturing principles from the Japanese automotive industry through the idiocy of Common Purpose (which is being found out daily now) to the ingrained lack of accountability and responsibility.

    Yes, HMRC is Shite, and that is bad JuJu.

  19. My understanding is that it is part of the contract HMRC has with its landlords to provide washing up liquid?

    ... Now if the likes of Mapeleys & Land Securities can get a bulk load of Brillo cleaning products on the cheap then overcharge HMRC for providing these, it highly unlikely that those said landlords are going to look too kindly if those naughty HMRC staff start eating into their profits by using their own Fairy Liquid!!!

  20. I think your understanding is a wee bit wide of the mark. If staff wish to use their own washing up liquid be it fairy or whatever else to do their own washing up Mapeley and HMRC management can keep out of the equation on the basis of fairy being safer than Brillo according to HSE tables.
    You should be more concerned as to why HMRC are doing their washing up in the first place assuming the Mapeley contract includes cleaning the kitchens. Unless, and logically, the contract does not include washing up but only cleaning the kitchens.
    Anyway, it won't matter a bit when Mapeley sell back the properties will it?!

    1. Don't you ever wash up your crockery then? Even HMRC staff are allowed tea and coffee etc.

  21. Yes, but they can't use their own Fairy Liquid in East Kilbride!

  22. I wash my hands of this whole argument...