Tuesday 26 August 2008

Taking The Piss

Taking The Piss
My congratulations to the senior management of HMRC who are proving to the world that they really understand how to "manage" and "motivate" their hapless staff.

You will doubtless be aware that HMRC are currently undergoing something of a "restructuring" exercise at the moment, 15,000 jobs gone and a further 10,000 to go by 2011, as such there are expectations of efficiency and performance improvements.

One would therefore expect that senior management, and the massively overpaid consultants that doubtless have been "guiding" them, would have some splendid efficiency improvement suggestions up their sleeves.

Errmmm...maybe not.....

I am reliably informed that an edict has been issued by "management" (just because you wear a suit and tie, and are paid a lot more than those at the coal face, does not necessarily make you a manager) to staff telling them to reduce the number of toilet breaks they take by drinking less.

I kid you not!

Why are these people allowed to be in charge of other human beings?

I doubt that any of the current management in situ at HMRC could sit the right way on a lavatory.

Tax does have to be taxing.

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6 comments:

  1. Because HMRC management have been so hell-bent on flushing everything that was good down the loo they're now resorting to p**ing all that's left up against the wall. Some 5-year ambition... eh?!!

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  2. It was only a matter of time. I worked in a call centre for 4 years and the regime was exactly the same. Untrained managers dishing out half-baked 'fixers' to non-existent problems. Fixated on their stats and spread sheets, oblivious to the plight of their beleaguered staff. I was in a 12 person team, 8 were on prozac and one committed suicide, siting 'pressures at work'. These included a shortening of the time we could be away from the phones to go to the toilet. We were restricted to 10 mins (it took 3.5 to get to the loo so 7 mins of walking time) a day, and told to use our break time for any other calls of nature. As with all these situations the tighter the grip the less control, so the more they tighten the grip. Not to mention the number of people with bladder infections and 4 cases of Kidney stones. HMRC is in crisis, IR managers are now putting their, already, failed 'business' practices, and staff management in place. This will ultimately result in the failier of HMRC and will go down in history as the biggest case of institutionalised bullying in the the country. Bring back the humane and evenhanded regimes of the Spanish Inquisition, adopt the Management techniques of Mugabe, they can't be any worse.

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  3. There's a spreadsheet to be filled in for number of toliet breaks. I kid you not! If you exceed the expectation level, the IR apparatchiks will cart you off for some educational therapy.

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  4. I've been reading this blog for a few weeks now, its become my first stop in the mornings.

    I am in total awe of the situation at HMRC. I'm of an age where you respected the government and its staff. Until now...

    Its unbelievable that this organisation can continue with this level of incompetence (having been a victim of the tax credit system).

    I am at a total loss for words. . .

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  5. Not so long ago the PCS trade union published in its members' magazine a story about what happened in one of the department's "flagship" tax offices. One very "loose cannon" of a manager, acting on their own initiative, decided to monitor staff's toilet visiting schedules by secretly mounting a digital camera inside an anonymous-looking box-spring file and strategically placing the innocent-looking "file" in a nearby filing cabinet so that the device would capture images of the toilet traffic. Suffice to say that this stupid plan very quickly backfired big time when somebody spotted the "file" and took it straight to the trade union rep. The official excuse for the secret camera was that there had been a number of acts of vandalism committed in the toilets and management were merely trying to catch out the culprit. A lame excuse indeed as there was no evidence that the manager in question had consulted/cleared with other managers, staff or with the trade unions, about his/her plans.

    The question also arises to the department; why are your staff committing acts of vandalism?

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  6. This reminds me of an enquiry I attended on behalf of a client. At the end of the tedious meeting, the inspector and I dashed to the bog to relieve ourselves. Fortunately I chose the correct urinal. The other one with the inspector in attendance was blocked, and rapidly filled up to the point of overflowing. My smug grin must have said it all. It is not often that I have seen a member of staff at HMRC move so quickly.

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